Ten Ways To Have A “Productive” Weekend

1) Wake up later in the day (preferably past noon) so that you feel like you must play a game of catch up. This will help you force more into your day and overwhelm you.

2) Make a phone call to someone you would never normally call. It’s great practice for getting out of uncomfortable situations. Plus, this gives you a sense of false accomplishment. A great way to start your day.

3) Text at least three people to ask what they are doing. Not to hangout but to be able to compare their accomplishments of the day to yours. This will either skyrocket your self-esteem or you’ll begin to sulk knowing you won’t accomplish as much as they did. (Guaranteed results)

4) Read one chapter in that book you’ve been reading for the past six months and promise yourself you’ll get in another chapter before you go to bed.

5) Get in one episode of the show “everyone” is watching right now. You’ll be so updated on pop culture and can use this for small talk when you’re stuck at dinner with people you honestly can’t stand (your best friends). maxresdefault[1]

6) Get that midday coffee boo. You deserve it! Make sure you go to the crowded Starbucks so more people can witness you left your house. Standing in line for thirty minutes is going to be the highlight of the gibberish coming out of your mouth when the barista says, “What can I do for you” and you still haven’t decided what you want. (Oh, and when they say enjoy your overpriced dry scone and iced coffee make sure you say, “you too” to really nail in the feeling of stupidity) 

7) Just remember Frodo Baggins didn’t make it to Mordor and back on his weekend off. You can’t get everything you want done in just one weekend.

8) There’s got to be some event in town that you’d never normally go to. Go to it.

9) Do none of this in any particular order… Prove to yourself that you aren’t following a twenty-three-year old’s sarcastic blog to find your weekend self-worth. 1bd4158ec5fe1793d24d7a4e413b9fed524ef9ba3c8fe0df96cf3411241b7f60[1]

10) Just remember you’ve got work tomorrow at eight thirty. You should be able to answer that famous Monday question “What did you do this weekend?” If you can’t answer you might as well just throw out all those participation ribbons you got growing up because you’re not a functioning member of the Mu(o)n-da(y)ne club.

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